Indifference, Insecurity, and Assumption Transference
March 24, 2006
I am the biggest fan of The Weekly Dream on the planet. The most recent Dream on General Indifference has sparked some very interesting discussion on and off of the site. Rather than post an obnoxiously long comment, I thought I respond with a post that sums up my feelings on this topic. After all, that is my right as this site’s owner :-).
Attention is important. What is interesting to me, how people respond to it. Some people respond differently to the same levels of attention. That is not problematic, except in cases where we expect other people to respond in the same way(s) we do. A very basic yet illustrative example here is eye contact (similar to what Steve alluded to in the Dream). Some, when having another make intense eye contact with them, become nervous, begin fidgeting, and break the contact at the first opportunity. Others are compelled to return the stare, perhaps more intensely than the one they received. Is either response right or wrong? I don’t think so. Why is the same not true in relationships?
For me, the amount of time I spend on something/someone does not many times translate to my level of love for them. If that was the case, I would never leave my grandparents house. Yet we expect people to do things because “they should love us enough” to do it? I don’t know if that always works.
“If you loved me more, you’d…”
I’m not so sure that I could make the above statement. It is based upon a problem that all-too-often rears its vicious face in relationships: assumption transference. This can be defined as having your own notions on something, and then trying to force another individual or group to live within your notion. What’s worse is that often times when I’ve talked to people about this topic, they often reveal that the reason they said it was because they were unhappy with their own emotions. What that means to me is that they were trying to have someone else do something that they themselves did not even feel good doing! The example here is something like, “I love you so much that I didn’t eat all day. If you loved me more, or as much, you’d do the same.” You can replace “didn’t eat all day” with just about anything: “didn’t go to class,” “didn’t take that job,” “didn’t go see my family,” etc. to see my point. My questions is, why would we want to do that to our loved ones?
We need to have better ways of communicating our feelings. Perhaps we instead should be focusing on addressing the reasons we feel negatively about our emotions in the first place. In the above example, maybe the parties can talk about why they feel bad about the things they do because they “love each other so much.” This will likely be a very revealing conversation, so it will only be successful if it is honest and does not contain accusations. If you’re lying to the person, and cool with that, y’all shouldn’t be together in the first place (and probably won’t be together much longer). If you start accusing people of things, you’ll be in trouble because the accusee will be spending their energy defending him or herself instead of addressing the negative feelings that were the motivation for the conversation.
Now to the “Cater to you” sidebar. Let me submit a question and a theory to those who find the lyrics troublesome: do you view your current/previous relationship [or relationships in general] as a power struggle? As some abstract (or concrete) competition or back-and-forth game of 1-up? If yes, then I think I can understand why you would take issue with the ideas of this concept. However, not viewing these intimate interactions as struggles for power or dominance can unlock the door to mutual catering in a way that is fulfilling to all parties involved.
Why are relationships seen as power struggles so much? My theory is that this perspective is founded upon personal insecurity. If I feel weak and I am uncomfortable with my feeling(s) of weakness, then I will be on the defensive to try to stop anyone from exerting “power” over me. Likewise, if I feel strong, I may seek out opportunities to demonstrate my “strength” over others. The commonality between these two extremes is that they are founded upon insecurity. To feel one or the other is not insecure in and of itself. To feel one or the other and to project those feelings upon other people to “protect” or “exert” yourself is demonstration of insecurity.
Now a concrete example. Someone who feels weak will have a problem doing something for another person because they feel that it makes them look/seem weak. Also, they may be hesitant to do these things because they fear being exploited as a result of that “weakness.” This adds another element, also introduced by insecurity, which is distrust. It says, “I know that if I was in your position and you were dealing with a ‘weakling’ like me, then I’d exploit you.” This is what I mean by projecting your insecurities onto others. This sort of assumption transference leads to lots of misunderstanding and miscommunication and unhappiness. The assumptions, especially when they are wrong, will then lead to your counterpart becoming defensive, and then everybody loses, including the ‘weakling.’
How do we address this? By changing how we view our interactions. If you see your relationship as a chance to exert power over another person, that perspective may need to be re-evaluated. Similarly, if you see your relationship as a place in which you feel weak, perhaps that relationship should be re-evaluated and you should focus more on what is the basis for your feelings of weakness. My pastor has been talking about family and marriage over the past two months, and he can be paraphrased as saying, “real, functional relationships cannot be power struggles because in these cases two people become one and you cannot have a power struggle with yourself.” This is simplified, but it is true nonetheless. Does your right eye engage in a power struggle with your left eye over which will dominate your vision? They work together without struggling. The same can be true for people and their interactions.
We need to get to a point where we can face our personal insecurities and not pass them onto others. This would have implications not only in personal relationships, but in group social and even political interactions (you know I had to tie this back in to social and political issues somehow :-)).
Just my thoughts. I’ll let Steve stick to writing the Dreams from now on.
Chronicles of The Expectant Tenth
March 24, 2006
I’d like to welcome to the internet’s network of Black Thinkers the Chronicles of the Expectant Tenth. People have seen this site on my profile and said “you’re writing for another site?!?!?!” The answer to that question is: kind of. This site has been started to create discourse on a series of questions that Black people are facing today. The topics will range from the political to the social to the psychological. My contributions to this site will be as an avid participant and commenter on questions posed. When I post comments, I will provide links to them here. I encourage you all to do the same by commenting on COTET and also posting your COTET comments on The SuperSpade.
You can read my comments to the site’s first question on “An All Black World” here.
Community is about mutual support. Let’s make our voices heard.
The Weekly Dream: General Indifference
March 22, 2006
“If you want to be somebody/If you want to go somewhere/ You better wake up and pay attention”
-Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
“The seeds of great discoveries are constantly floating around us, but they only take root in minds well-prepared to receive it.”
-Scoop Jackson
“It means so much just to be present and bring all of yourself to the task at hand.”
-Cory Nettles
It is a miracle. Whatever we devote our attention to automatically grows and flourishes, because it is a tell tale sign of focus/priority. For instance, my mother has house plants over twenty years old, yet they grow to the ceiling. I thought it weird that as she cared for them, she spoke to them also. I always wondered what it is you say to a plant to make it grow, but what I realized is that it did not matter. The important thing only that time was taken out to tend to the needs of the plants at the moment.
The Gravamen
Attention is linked and rooted in so many other things. And based on the context, can be called many different names. One of the most valuable gifts we can offer to others is our undivided attention. I recently participated in a conference where we performed a listening exercise. For a few minutes, I sat across from my partner and “beamed” at them while they talked about whatever they wanted. Then it was my turn, but I could not respond to what had been said before. It was a little unsettling at first to have someone so intently focused on you. Yet, it helped sort out some things I did not know was there. I realized that having that attention is all too rare, although it costs us nothing.
Why Don’t More People Pay Attention
All of us have dealt with an individual who was not attentive and the frustration that comes as a result, yet how often do we find ourselves doing the same thing. Most of us live day to day on autopilot anyway. How much of your day are you conscious of what you are doing? How much is involved in active thinking and analyzing?
This normally plays itself out on the phone. During phone conversations, we are doing the dishes, talking to other people, watching other people. So many things compete for our attention and time is so limited, it is difficult to really “beam” in on the person/conversation/task. But I cannot help but wonder how many things pass us by because of this. Think about it, when was the last time you were totally present in a conversation or activity. Your mind did not wander, you were not multi-tasking, but you were completely focused on what was in front of you. I have found that life is far more rewarding when we are present and ready for action.
Inattentiveness can be a coping mechanism because with awareness, comes responsibility. I refer to this as being “decidedly ignorant.” A lot of people make a conscious effort not to educate themselves. In this Age of Information, I am amazed at how little the general public knows about how things work (e.g. politics, the economy, government, etc.). What’s more, they take pride in not knowing. Perhaps, these issues are not immediate as opposed to meeting daily needs, so there is no urgency but these things are important nonetheless. I have learned that ignoring a problem will not make it go away. So it is best to “man up” and work with what you have (Shameless Plug: We can directly conteract this trend by directing people www.TheSuperSpade.com).
Pearls before Swine
Some of us place our attention on things that are negative or just plain dumb. Forgive me, but is what is going on with Britney, Paris or Brad going to help you pay your bills. Sure, the beautiful people can be interesting and watching someone else’s life can be relaxing. However, some people get so wrapped up in things that do not matter or in other folks’ business, that they life is in shambles. They commit a cardinal sin: letting other people problems become their own.
People also have the tendency to only focus on the negative. One little thing happens and their day is shot. A change of focus is needed. Too many individuals are problem orientated instead of solution motivated. The church mothers said it best, “When God closes a door, he opens a window.”
Make sure you are handling your business and maintain proper perspective.
I want to cater to you…: A Sidebar
Attention varies based on the situation and context. And different things require varying levels of our attention. No doubt, you can wash the dishes and talk on the phone at the same time, and do a pretty good job. But if you want to do a great job (e.g. company is coming over), then you have to focus to drill down into the detail. This is more so true in the area of relationships.
There is a song called “Cater to You” by Destiny’s Child in which they discuss pampering their man. Yet so many of my female friends were offended by the song and dismissed it as sexist and one sided. However, I took it to illustrate the mutual concern and attention that is necessary for true intimacy. If your counterpart is doing their part, why not pamper them every once and a while. A little gratitude goes a long way.
It is unsettling to me how my generation and the generations that follow treat love and companionship as a pure arm’s length business transaction, where everyone is after their own interest. I have seen numerous individuals who consciously or unconsciously disregard the needs of their partners, or seem indifferent, but expect the world in return. This inattentiveness is selfishness. This type of relationship cannot prosper. In any relationship, we should key into what we can bring to the situation. How can we make it better? Giving it the attention and priority required. I believe that this is the key to a thriving relationship and what is meant by a helpmate.
In the End
Being attentive takes discipline and can be exhausting. Why? Because attention is not just attention, it demands so much more. The antenna does not need to be up all of the time. Sometimes, you do need mindless activity-it is called relaxation. But habitual inattentiveness is detrimental because it lulls us into a false sense of security; especially when it comes to people. God gave us five senses for a reason. Use them.
If you are alert, then you are harder to deceive.
Where your attention is, your heart will follow.
Attention is a commodity, spend it wisely.
Truth and Peace,
Steven M DeVougas
Question of the Week: Who or what is currently holding your attention and why?
Why we went to war, Bush responds
March 22, 2006
“The misuse of language induces evil in the soul.” -Socrates
After being denied direct questions for years, Bush finally took a question from journalist Helen Thomas. She asked (and I am paraphrasing), “Why did we really go to war?” Seems like a simple enough question right? Read on to see how Bush responded.
Let me first say that I have a lot of respect for Helen Thomas but I would have revised her question to say, “Why did we go to Iraq?” and then let Bush goes for what he knows. Because for anyone who has seen “Fog of War,” you know that politicians and public officials are notorious for responding to tough questions by answering the questions they would have preferred to answer, regardless if the answer has nothing to do with the question being asked. And at this point in his Presidency, Bush has his script so down-packed, we shouldn’t expect any kernel of truth to slip out.
Regardless of all that, Bush took an uncomfortably long time to answer Helen’s question so I am going to give you an in-depth analysis of their exchange. I pulled part of the transcript from the Washington Post and the relevant exchange proceeds as follows and my comments are in italics.
QUESTION (Thomas): Why did you really want to go to war? This question already provides a way to Bush to avoid the spirit of the question.
BUSH: I think your premise, in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist - that I didn’t want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong, Helen, in all due respect. And Bush sneaks out the back door.
QUESTION (Thomas): And … Thomas tries to catch Bush at the back door.
BUSH: Hold on for a second, please. Excuse me. Excuse me. Bush is trying to gather his thoughts, trying to remember the script.
BUSH: No president wants war. Everything you may have heard is that, but it’s just simply not true. My attitude about the defense of this country changed on September the 11th. When we got attacked, I vowed then and there to use every asset at my disposal to protect the American people. Bush gains his confidence because whenever war is the topic, you can never leave home without your 9/11 card, even though we are approaching 3,000 military deaths in Iraq.
BUSH: Our foreign policy changed on that day. You know, we used to think we were secure because of oceans and previous diplomacy. But we realized on September the 11th, 2001, that killers could destroy innocent life. Apparently, Bush forgot about that atomic bomb thing in Japan.
BUSH: And I’m never going to forget it. And I’m never going to forget the vow I made to the American people, that we will do everything in our power to protect our people. Part of that meant to make sure that we didn’t allow people to provide safe haven to an enemy, and that’s why I went into Iraq. So in other words, we went into Iraq because we wanted to make sure Saddam and/or Iraq didn’t provide a safe haven to an enemy. Even though Bush doesn’t define people and Saddam Hussein wouldn’t have any Al-Qaeda or Taliban rebels causing mess in his country, Afghanistan’s housing of the Taliban was simlar to Iraq’s housing of Al-Qaeda. Come on man!
(CROSSTALK)
BUSH: Hold on for a second. Excuse me for a second, please. Excuse me for a second. They did. The Taliban provided safe haven for al-Qaeda. Didn’t Bush mean to say that Iraq provided a safe haven for Al-Qaeda? Nevertheless, if we follow Bush’s logic, Saddam provided a safe haven for the Taliban and the Taliban provided a safe haven for Al-Qaeda, so that’s why we went into Iraq. Are you confused yet?
QUESTION: (OFF-MIKE)
BUSH: Helen, excuse me. That’s where - Afghanistan provided safe haven for al-Qaida. That’s where they trained, that’s where they plotted, that’s where they planned the attacks that killed thousands of innocent Americans. So did Afghanistan or the Taliban provide a safe haven to Al-Qaeda? Why then should we draw a distinction between Afghanistan and Taliban?
BUSH: I also saw a threat in Iraq. I was hoping to solve this problem diplomatically. That’s why I went to the Security Council. That’s why it was important to pass 1441, which was unanimously passed. This is the line of the week. “I also saw a threat in Iraq.” Now I know see how we went from Afghanistan to Iraq, it was because Bush saw a threat, although it was totally based on his misuse of evidence and language.
BUSH: And the world said, Disarm, disclose or face serious consequences. And therefore, we worked with the world. We worked to make sure that Saddam Hussein heard the message of the world. Have you noticed how WMD have completely left Bush’s vocabulary?
BUSH: And when he chose to deny the inspectors, when he chose not to disclose, then I had the difficult decision to make to remove him. And we did. And the world is safer for it. So we went into Iraq to remove Saddam Hussein. OK So how did the mission change such that we are now nation-building based on democratic ideals and simultaneously providing national security until the Iraqis stand up?
To be clear, I don’t want the Iraqis to suffer but when an entire war/invasion is based on the misuse of language AND evidence, I can’t imagine anything good coming from it. Can you?
Stay up fam,
Brandon
Are you late or are you late late?
March 20, 2006
If you have been or are sexually active, then you probably have a good idea of how tough those conversations can be. You know what makes me mad though? When I graduated from high school and from college, I was so happy to say to myself, “I’m glad I don’t have any kids.” It’s almost like I was more proud of not having kids than getting my degree. Now if you have kids I am not knocking you, please believe.
But I hate how common it is for people to have had to seriously contemplate having a baby. You know what I’m talking about, missed periods, broken condoms, birth control, pregnancy tests, the list goes on. And I wish I had some great insightful question to toss out there, but I don’t. I am just tired of hearing how common that experience is amongst my peers.
Stay up fam,
Brandon
My School, My Decision
March 19, 2006
This leg of my trip lands me in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The news for this day comes courtesy of The Milwaukee Community Journal
The headline reads, “Gov. Doyle signs bill expanding choice.” It specifically refers to reforms to the Milwaukee Parental Choice program, which allows for qualified families to receive financial help to send their children to private schools in the city of Milwaukee. We will use this story to discuss the idea of “school choice” programs in Milwaukee and other places around the country.
I went to public preschool, kindergarten, and 1st & 2nd grade at public schools in Detroit. After my family moved to Farmington, I attended 3rd thru 12th grades at public schools in Farmington. I then graduated from the University of Michigan, a public university. I say all that to provide full disclosure that I am a product of public education.
Most understand differences between public and private education. Generally, private schools offer smaller class sizes [than their public counterparts], more specialized/focused curricula, more Advanced Placement opportunities, etc. Most of these differences exist due to the simple fact that you must pay tuition to attend private school. Most understand that all public school systems are not created equal. There were definite differences in the Detroit and Farmington systems in terms of access to resources, quality of facilities, and parental/community participation. These differences exist for any number of reasons, which I will not list here. The characteristics of private schools as described above are ones that most families would desire for their school-aged children.
In order to address these differences, the concept of “school choice” was born. It essentially says that the government, acknowledging inequalities between public and private schools, will subsidize a student’s tuition to a private school, if the student and family meet a set of criteria [that differs depending on the location].
This begs the following: how does one define “public education?” Does it mean government provided/sanctioned/sponsored? Does it mean funded by tax revenue? Does it mean comprised of students from the community surrounding the school? In my opinion, your answer to this question helps to frame your views on school choice.
“School choice” is making the private schools in effect semi-public, if you believe that public equals funded by tax revenue, since most “school choice” programs are not ones that you pay to participate in. It also “public-izes” them if you believe that public equals government-sponsored, in the sense that the government has a set of [private] schools for which it chooses to subsidize the cost of attendance.
Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle’s expansion bill increases the number of students allowed to participate, increases funding towards smaller class sizes via the SAGE Program
I generally disagree with the “school choice” model. I see it as an easy, cop-out method employed by state and local governments to avoid acknowledging, confronting, and addressing issues in challenged schools within public districts. To me, public education means government funded thru tax dollars. That means that if I pay taxes, I should be granted premium educational opportunities AT NO ADDITIONAL COST. The reason some feel “forced” to enroll their kids in private schools that they may or may not be able to afford is because of the failure of the government to provide this basic service. As opposed to facing this, “school choice” lets them off with zero accountability.
So how do we “fix” public education? I believe the solution is two-fold. First, IN OUR MINDS education must shift from a desired luxury to a practical necessity. I am by no means a psychologist, but I do believe that people treat their wants and needs differently. If we embraced a MINDSET that said education was essential for survival, then there would be less apathy towards it and negativity associated with it (e.g. No more being labeled as “talking white”). We see tangible examples of education’s practicality and necessity in the job market, where more and more occupations require higher and higher levels of formal education.
The second, which occurs in parallel to the first, is a change in what we see as the purpose of education. My mentor Calvin Mackie says, “if it only makes dollars, it doesn’t make sense.” Applied here, this means that if we view education only as a means to attain financial “success,” then we do not really value/understand it. This is an underlying motivation behind alarmingly high dropout rates in high school and college. People feel like the same money they could make in X years by becoming educated can be made in X days by leaving school and working/hustling immediately. If knowledge and education went beyond pathways to paychecks, maybe this would not be such a disturbing trend. How can we change this?
By changing the way we talk about education.
Make knowledge the priority over practicality (read: profitability) of an area of study.
By changing the way we talk about and define success.
Is wisdom, health and experience more important than money? Some would argue yes, others no. This does not mean that money has no practical value. It does mean that it should be a tool and not a goal.
By changing the way we educate.
Emphasize personal, practical aspects of subjects as opposed to standardized ideas. Encourage people to think critically by creating their own interpretations and challenge them to defend them. This is basically what happens in college. I argue that it should be applied upstream.
On the other side, school choice introduces competition to the public school monopoly that exists in many places. Can this “free market” approach to education be the jolt that public schools need to get it together? I don’t necessarily think so, but I am quite open to persuasion.
Am I wrong?
What am I missing?
How do you feel?
–
Garlin Gilchrist II
http://www.TheSuperSpade.com
Sent using Windows Mobile 5.0
Black folks and money (or lack thereof)
March 18, 2006
You know what I hate? It’s when Black people who have somewhat of a handle on managing their money don’t pass on that information to other people. We here at Superspade are well aware of all the financial trials that Black people face on a regular. (Like when the only “good” groceries you get are the week after payday but you’re eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches the week of payday) But rarely do you see discussions focused on the tools others have used to reach their financial goals. This is where you come in.
If you have made some moves financially, whether it was learning how to budget or buy stocks, or you want to know how others have done it, you need to make your presence known on this post. I’ll go first. I am a recent college graduate and I am currently working my first “real” job. As such, there are several things I learned that have really helped me out. For starters, I realized the difference between needs and wants. For example, I used to buy Reynold’s Wrap just because I saw it on TV. But did I really need name brand aluminum foil? Probably not, so I made the switch. And if you multiply this example many times over, you will get an idea of how I spend my money.
The other thing I learned was balancing a checkbook didn’t help me keep things in perspective. So I started a budget in Excel such that I have three columns for each pay period. The first column shows all the money I have coming in and the second column shows all the bills and expenses I have to pay. The third column is my cash flow that I use to keep track of everything I pay with cash. The advantage I found with this method is that by using addition and subtraction functions within Excel, bills never sneak up on me and I can quickly see where I can cut back and where I am spending too much. Now I still use my checkbook but using Excel helps me see the big picture.
I have also started to take out cash that is strictly used for groceries and gas. For example, on a typical week I may spend anywhere between $30 and $40 on gas so I take out $40 for gas and I keep track of gas spending in my Excel spreadsheet as well. The same thing goes for food. I make a point to shop once a week and I am one of those people who shop with a calculator, notebook, and pen. Because I know it’s hard for me to put something back after the cashier rang up my bill, even if I am over budget. So rather than cross my fingers, I already know how much I am getting before I get in line.
Right now, I am preparing to go to Law school in fall of 2007 but I don’t know how people make the financial transition from working full time to going to school full time. So for all my Superspades who have been there, help a brother out.
For all my shareholders out there, what books/websites were helpful in allowing you to get a handle on investing?
I want everyone reading this post to put a comment that shows something you learned to help you financially and something you would like to know. Because whether you are in high school, a college graduate, or a seasoned investor, we are all in this together and we learn as we go. And while you may think your financial woes will end if you made more money, they won’t unless you learn how to budget, save, and invest. Essentially, I am tired of Black folk getting all riled up over anything political, but get all quiet when someone asks us about our finances. Let’s step our game up because solutions have a weird way of canceling out sorrows.
Stay up fam,
Brandon
V for Vendetta
March 18, 2006
I highly highly recommend V for Vendetta. I admit that I was first put off by the mask and everything but trust me, if you liked the Matrix, then you are going to love V for Vendetta. Now I normally don’t post about entertainment matters but this movie has a political undertone that is so brilliantly woven into the script you might end up giving a standing ovation.
Not to mention that as the credits roll up, the first voice you hear is that of Malcolm X. And for fear of giving too much away, I will cite one line out of the movie that I think epitomizes the power of your voice in the blogosphere; “Ideas are bulletproof.” That is all I am going to say about it but please see that movie and if you get a chance, rent Lord of War (with Nicholas Cage) too because like V for Vendetta, it doesn’t apologize for the truth.
Stay up fam,
Brandon
The Weekly Dream: The Hunger for More
March 15, 2006
“Death is nothing, but to live defeated is to die everyday.”
-Napoleon Bonaparte
“While knowing that we will die someday, we think that all the others will die before us and that we will be the last to go. Death seems a long way off. Is this not shallow thinking? It is worthless and is only a joke within a dream…Insofar as death is always at one’s door, one should make sufficient effort to act quickly.”
-Hagakure: The Book of the Samarai, Yamamoto Tsunetomo
Once in college, a friend of Garlin’s and I came to us with a request. She admired our focus and point of view and she wanted us to mentor a young man, whom she thought had potential. We agreed to meet this young man and we did. However, we knew something was a little off.Garlin and I unanimously declined to take this young man under our tutelage. When asked why, we told her that he was not hungry. She looked perplexed, and we explained that we could look in his eyes and tell that this relationship would not work out.
When the student is ready, the master will appear…
In my first article, I wrote about the importance of passion. But then I realized that hunger was deeper than passion. It is passion taken to the next level. If passion is a flame, then hunger is a five alarm blaze. A person can pick and choose his passion, but hunger permeates your whole existence. It is a yearning mixed with a little desperation. It is the result of discipline, inner toughness, clarity of vision and a sense of urgency.
Hunger is what separated Michael Jordan from every other basketball player. People talked of Mike’s competitive streak and his killer instinct. But it was his hunger that drove him to constantly push himself to new heights. His hunger is what allowed him take over games anytime he wanted. This is what separates the good from the great.
When a person is hungry, failure is not an option because there are no other options but to reach your objective. This single-mindedness is the essence of the warrior mentality. Warriors are not concerned with death and they do not waste time or resources, but focus everything into execution. A warrior is keenly aware that this moment could well be his last.
Back Against the Wall
People with hunger act with frenetic energy. If you are tired, then you are probably bored. Therefore, it is essential that you seek new challenges to tap into new energy. A lack of energy=a lack of challenge. If you find yourself uninspired, lacking conviction and motivation, then it may be time for a change.
First, remove distractions. I spoke about this before, but it bears repeating. Next, make yourself uncomfortable. Be thankful, but be uncomfortable. This comes from a realization of your potential and how far you have to go in order to reach that. By facing risk, you must rise to the challenge. It could come internally or externally. It could be you have something to prove. Once people understand what they are really capable of and that they can have anything, they tend to work tirelessly to manifest that. Lastly, do not waste time.
If there is one thing I loathe is a person who wastes time. I learned early to take decisive and consistent action. It is possible to be hungry and to procrastinate. People who do this are generally known as bums. The point of hunger is to act with urgency and seize the moment. People who squander this precious resource or have no concept of timing demonstrate a fundamental ignorance or indifference that cannot result in success. Avoid these individuals; they have no control of their lives.
I will leave you with this…
My senior year of college, I ate Ramen noodles and two hot dogs pretty much every day. I had two jobs and seventeen credits. Yet, I received my highest grades during this time. I knew I had come too far to quit and that if I could succeed under these conditions, I could conquer anything. I grew to relish the pressure and the opportunity to prove myself. Knowing that the time would come, the hunger drove me to prepare.
At times, I have allowed the blaze to settle into a flame. When that occurs, it normally signals a change needs to be made. If you find yourself in this predicament, you also might consider making a change. Get hungry for change. Get hungry for greatness. Get hungry for better relationships. Get hungry for righteousness. Get hungry for LIFE. Dig deep, find the courage, and make that jump. When you do, don’t take “no” for an answer.
A coward dies a thousand deaths, but a hero dies but one.
Do not let compromise, timidity and apathy squelch the blaze.
Bon Vivant.
Truth and Peace,
Steven M DeVougas
Question of the Week: What do you do to feed your hunger?
My Health, My Decision
March 15, 2006
I have a layover in Minneapolis, Minnesota for the next hour, and that gives The SuperSpade a chance to see and discuss issues occurring wherever we are.
Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty has proposed what he calls a “Health Impact Fee” as part of his upcoming budget proposal. The Minneapolis Star Tribune refers this as effectively a “Cigarette Tax.” These sorts of issues raise interesting questions about the rights and roles of government in health-related personal decision making.Even people who smoke acknowledge that there are negative health risks associated with that. Most people who engage in “high health impact” activities will quickly admit this as well. In neither case, however, do the risks outweigh the benefits to these individuals.
The Libertarian in me says that we should let these people live their lives and “penalize” them through things such as a “High Impact” fee. It says you [should] have the right to do what you wish, no matter what it is or who disagrees with it or who is uncomfortable with it. However, this breaks down for me in the case of smoking, which also adversely effects the environment and the health of those in close proximity.
The Uber-Liberal in me says that we should insure and provide a safety net for all, including the Risk-Lovers. It says that we will take care of you no matter what; Universal Health Care covers the crazy and the sane. The case where this breaks down is something like abortion. I am adamantly Pro-Choice, but I do not think the government should pay for the procedure.
The Fiscal Conservative in me says that the “Health Impact Fee” is right on. If I don’t smoke, why should I pay for someone that does? Efficient economics tells us that the market should price things at what they are worth to the consumer (e.g. Northwest Airlines charging everyone [including people like me who actually NEED the leg room] $15 for Exit Row seats. That almost went horribly wrong when we switched planes!!). This approach says that the blanket approaches of Garlin the Libertarian and Garlin the Liberal are so fair that they are unfair. This falls short in the case where I [willingly or unwillingly] engage in “High Health Impact” behavior(s) and cannot afford coverage.
I’m not crazy or the victim of a split-personality disorder. I am, in a word conflicted. I would like your thoughts on the role of government in personal health decisions. Should it enable everything? Should it do nothing? Somewhere in between? Your comments are appreciated.
