Happy Father’s Day
June 14, 2008
What’s up fam,
I wrote a letter to my Dad in honor of Father’s Day and I wanted the whole world to know how I feel about him.
Dad,
This Father’s Day, I wanted to share with you my thoughts on the evolution of our relationship and your impact on my life. A long, long time ago you, mom told you that she was pregnant and the baby was yours. I am sure like most men, your emotions ranged from fear to confusion to joy. In the end though, you manned up and never looked back. And when people ask me about my parents and why they are not married or your role in my life, I am always quick to let people know that there has never been a time when you were not in my life.
Always generous, gracious, and funny, I have adopted many of your mannerisms and I want you to see your best qualities amplified within me. Your being proud of me is a driving force in how I carry myself and strive to be a better person. I remember the picture of us that we took at that scholarship dinner in Southfield and I know you are not big on taking pictures, but this one is my favorite.
My earliest memory of you is the joy I felt at the sound of you jingling your keys as you walked toward the door on Biltmore. Between the familiar scent of Old Spice and a big hug, I was on cloud nine. Growing up, I don’t think I ever made a big deal about why you never married mom. Looking back though, our relationship would probably not be as unique if you and Mom got married because over the years, I have developed an ability to keep our relationship sacred regardless of what was happening between you and mom or whatever other drama was happening in my life.
And when I did cut up, you were always there to not only discipline, but to let me know everything would be alright. One memory that stands out was the week I lost my virginity. I felt horrible because I thought I let you down and there would be nothing I could do to regain your respect or favor. That Saturday, you and I went to a Men’s Prayer breakfast at Cobo Hall and I don’t remember who was speaking but I remember experiencing the Spirit of Peace.
On the way home, driving down Jefferson, I told you what happened between sobs and tears, telling you that I was sorry and I didn’t want to let you down. When I looked up, I saw tears coming down your eyes and I never saw you cry before. When we got home, we talked…and we shared like we never had and before you left, you told me you loved me and proud that I told you what happened and you gave me a huge hug and $20. To this day, I don’t see what I did to deserve any money whatsoever but it was your way of letting me know that our relationship was strong and everything would be alright. I will never forget that experience Dad, thank you.
As I got older, we developed a passion for playing pool that would become our pastime where all is well with the world. Most days we play, there is next to no conversation but the silent bonding that takes place over pool is so great that I can’t really put it into words. I just hope my kids will want to play pool too!
Always there, you were instrumental in making sure I had opportunities that really shaped my life for the better. I was the only guy on the block with a skateboard and when I made drum sticks out of pant hangars, you bought me a drum set. You taught me to play tennis even helped me get lessons. The only reason I carry handkerchiefs is because of you. If I was hungry, there was no where you wouldn’t take me and Wendy’s was the frequent destination. When I told you about my trip to England, I expected you to say no but much to my surprise you said yes and to this day, I am still grateful for your sacrifice.
I am eternally grateful for your guidance, friendship, and your love. When I thought about Tim Russert’s passing away, I was painfully reminded of how precious life is. Dad, I love you and I cherish our relationship and I am so proud to call you Pops!
Happy Father’s Day
Love,
Brandon Q. White
P.S. Don’t tell Mom this, but even though I know I look more like her, I have always wanted someone to tell me, “You look just like your Dad.”
Make lower crack sentencing guidelines retroactive!!!
December 5, 2007
What’s up fam,
As you prepare to wrap up the year, I want to alert everyone to a very important event regarding drug sentencing. On December 11, the U.S. Sentencing Commission plans to hold a public meeting where they are expected to vote on whether to make the new, lower crack cocaine guideline retroactive.
On May 1, 2007, the U.S. Sentencing Commission proposed an amendment to the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines to reduce the sentencing ranges for crack cocaine offenses by two levels. The amendment went into effect on November 1, 2007, and will affect 70 percent of crack cocaine cases sentenced in federal courts, reducing sentences by an average of 15 months.
Retroactivity is vital because for nearly twenty years now, no group has been hit harder with mandatory minimums than Black folks. But don’t take my word for it.
The SuperSpade in Chicago
July 27, 2007
What’s up fam,
I am notoriously private with things that I should normally share with my family. Readers of The SuperSpade know that I end every post with “Stay up fam.” So as my family, I am happy to announce that I will be representing The SuperSpade in
I am very grateful to the donors that made it possible for me to go, (hat tip to Kid Oakland and the whole team!) and I speak for Garlin and Steve when I say we are forever in debt to you as your insightful comments (on the site or on the phone) continue to enrich the depth and breadth of The SuperSpade. If you will be in
Stay up fam,
Brandon Q.
The Weekly Dream: Crisis in Manhood
June 22, 2007
Father’s Day has just passed and hopefully you took the time to appreciate the father in your life, whomever it may be. As I have written before, Father’s Day is an interesting holiday to me. I am not a father, but I think the relationship between a father and a child is a unique one and it tends to be a more complicated one than the mother and child dynamic.
As I was driving around the city last week, enjoying the excellent weather, for the first time I noticed that there were women and children everywhere, but you rarely saw the fathers or men. I am not talking about young men, but grown men. And I not only asked where are all the fathers, but where are all the men period?
Bush doesn’t like the troops, I don’t like Bush
May 18, 2007
I really, really don’t like this guy. Why do he and his political allies talk all this noise about “supporting the troops” when they treat them like the little green army men that small children play war with?
Case in point: Democrats today called for the President to support a compensation increase for the soldiers via The National Defense Authorization Act:
The Weekly Dream: Happy Mama’s Day!
May 11, 2007
Hello Everyone,
As you know, Mother’s Day is right around the corner and the malls and restaurants are filled with last minute shoppers trying to do something special for the woman who brought them into this world. This week, since I finished my exams, I was laying in my bed and flipping through channels when I landed on The Learning Channel. It must have been baby week or something because every show was about pregnancy and how families adjust to childbirth. It was so real. I knew, but did not fully appreciate what it really takes to be a mother.
There was a consistent theme I notice throughout all the shows and stories I watched that day, and that was motherhood is all about pain and sacrifice. I was looking at all these women and the discomfort on their face was palpable. Lord have mercy! It made me realize that the road to motherhood is one birthed in pain. After they give birth to you, the pregnancy wreaks havoc on the body. Not to mention that babies have some of the strangest sleeping habits I have ever seen. One of my good friends has a baby and it is like he never sleeps. She sleeps when he sleeps, and when he is up, she is up. And the sacrifice goes on. Man, when I saw that, I just wanted to say “Mama, I am sorry if I kept you up.” Because I know I would go crazy having such erratic sleeping behaviors. But I digress.
Are you afraid of the Internet?
May 6, 2007
The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital at the University of Michigan recently published a survey called The National Poll on Children’s Health. While this report calls out the usual suspects of drugs and obesity, there was one concern that was surprisingly high: the Internet.
Flashback: The SuperSpade in March of 2006
March 22, 2007
For people who may have just recently joined our site, we present an opportunity to get a taste of things we’ve talked about in the past. We’re going to start doing this once per month.
Here are some categorized highlights of The SuperSpade circa March 2006:
The State of Black Men
A Poverty of the Mind (1 comment)
Is the Black Man in America Doomed? (5 comments)
The Weekly Dream
Carpe Diem - The Purpose Driven Now
Life’s Lessons (6 comments)
The Hunger for More (4 comments)
General Indifference (5 comments)
Family-related
Is your family more important than God? (10 comments)
The Black Family Movement Part II (1 comment)
The Right to be a Deadbeat (4 comments)
Relationships
Are you late or late late? (6 comments)
Indifference, Insecurity, and Assumption Transference (4 comments)
A good Black man? (12 comments)
Politics
Why we went to war, Bush responds (2 comments)
Bush’s State of Iraq unveiled (2 comments)
In defense of Dubai (and Bush) (1 comment)
Bush warned of levees breaching in New Orleans (1 comment)
Supporting and listening to the troops
Categories
SuperSpade
Flashback
Why are More and More Households are Unmarried Ones?
October 15, 2006
I don’t talk about relationships too much here; that’s primarily Steve’s department. However, I was struck by this NY Times article that says that for the first time in a very long time, there are less married households in a america than unmarried households.
Is that a big deal? Does it even matter? With all the talk about family values, does this mean that the definition of family is changing?
Categories:
Marriage
Relationships
SuperSpade Speechwriting: Impacting the Present One at a Time, v0.5
June 26, 2006
Thank you for your input on the subject of this speech on Family and Impacting the Present. Now, as promised, here is a draft of my outline/talking points.
I. Intro
a. Why do we have reunions?
i. Reunions Magazine: Purposes of Reunions
1. 57% to keep in touch
2. 28% to teach kids about family heritage
3. Other reasons: Get together before an elder passes on, Mark special birthday, holiday, or other occasion
b. How do they start?
i. Innocent comments, like “We should celebrate more often.”
ii. Any other positive action starts the same way…
c. Acknowledgments & Thank You’s
d. The Point
i. Ephesians 4.4-6: There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
ii. Impact the present ‘one at a time.’ One person. One family. One vision. One dream. One thought. One purpose. One action.
II. Content
a. Helen Keller paraphrase: “To keep our faces toward change… is strength undefeatable.” (Thanks Raye!)
i. There exists at all times (especially the present) the opportunity to effect positive change in your own personal situation and in the lives of others…
1. Everybody can benefit somebody…
2. I can help people while being helped; don’t think you have to wait “until you’re ready…”
ii. As we focus on change, we can find strength in numbers. One can become many.
1. Since many of us have the same challenges, we can face them together (as a family or some other collective) as opposed to alone. We all can become stronger if we keep this in mind…
2. Basic Shared struggles
a. Personal examples
i. Finding my purpose
ii. Managing relationships
1. Familial
2. Friendships
3. Romantic interactions
iii.Managing time
1. Giving everyone the time they need/deserve
2. Getting ‘Me’ Time
3. Work-Life Balance
b. Ask the audience
3. More complex shared struggles
a. Money
i. Lack thereof
ii. Not knowing what to do with it
b. Jobs
i. Unemployment
ii. Underemployment
c. Politics
i. Not caring
ii. Not understanding on a personal, practical level
iii. I believe that in the midst of interested people with one vision that care for the well-being of all, solutions can be reached. Well, what’s a more interested party than the family!?!?!? (Thanks Anon!)
1. We can play the role of encouragers and mentors to family members and strangers alike…
2. We are blessed to be such a strong, close-knit family…
3. Let this family impact the present in a positive way and be an example of what one family united with one vision can do…
b. Old African proverb - “It takes a village to raise a child”
i. The family can and should be the beginning of that village
ii. Family is important in making sure that a child is prepared to live in the future…
1. Two types of family: Related by Blood vs. Related by Choice
a. Blood
i. What most think of when they say family
ii. The easy one to define…
b. Choice
i. “Friends are your chosen family.”
ii. Important to me as an only child…
2. Both are necessary for future generational success.
a. We can strengthen both at the same time…
i. Be a father and a mentor to someone who is not your son or daughter
ii. Be an auntie and a friend to the young man/woman you work with
b. We are valuable and dynamic people, who can do more than one thing at once and more than one thing well. One person can affect many people in a positive way.
3. What are we doing to prepare the Jackson family and our collective Black family for the future?
a. “Strengthening Black Families today in order to get them ready for tomorrow…”
c. When we fall we have to get back up - losing today does not guarantee losing tomorrow.
i. There has been a lot in the news lately about the terrible state of the Black family and the seemingly too-far-gone-to-salvage state of the Black man
ii. We have many examples in this family from the past and the present that buck this trend
1. (List of names omitted)…
iii.Those of us today have a responsibility to change the state of the Black man one mentee at a time. We have a responsibility as a family to change the state of the Black family one family at a time…
III.Conclusion
a. Problems typically look worse than they actually are. If we are committed to working together as one, we can overcome any and everything that we encounter.
i. 2 Timothy 1.7: For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
ii. Let’s remember our shared experiences and our shared interests in the future. We can use these to build a solid foundation that the future, which will be talked about by the next speaker, can be as positive as possible.
b. This is bigger than the present. We need to use it to confront and conquer the problems of the past and lay foundation for the coming days. After all, today will be the past tomorrow. Every day, we can make tomorrow better, one day at a time, one action at a time, one person at a time.
Some pieces are more clearly fleshed out than others, but this is what we’ve got so far. I need help pretty much everywhere, but especially the conclusion.
I thank you all in advance for all of the criticism, suggestions, and encouragement you give me on these points.
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